"Smell my head...it's warm."

Spoken like a 4year old.

So. In looking at all the sparkly bits from the NAHBS'09, I was inspired to go and gather some of the shiny bits I have hoarded and make a bike. By hand, if you will.

It is the old Japan made Schwinn Le Tour Tourist in Godawful Bleu. (I am not a fan of blue) From whence did this frame come? I do not even remember now. Maybe from Shorty- that guy who scavenges from the dump in Watsonville, with the fence lined with bikes? Maybe from your mom. Whatever, it is a 58cm, and it is kinda sweet.




It is the moustachioed Nitto handlebars/cheesy odd 1"stem combo from several other junk bikes, sporting the shellac job from when they were mounted on this Schwinn's transsexual doppleganger fixte mixte (which, coincidentally, Mysterious B___ S_____ hisself rode into the ground repeatedly at the NAHBS'07 when it was in San Jose- claiming that it was "how you learn!" in his attempts to stop and skid on the dime). I smiled when I thought about that connection. If I had it to do over, I'd move the levers out and angle them down a little more, but I am reluctant to mess with the shellacedness. Hella sweet.

It is the brass bell from other bikes. Sweet.

It is the Paul Comp Flatbed, bought in '02 for the rattle-can pink Diamond Back (a gimme frame from the early 1990s with the incredibly steep ~175mm stem and the horrid marbled purple and grey paint job) which became the Xtracycle and has not been in use since mmmm'03? (The basket. The frame was retired upon reception of the Big Dummy, and is currently awaiting it's next move.) It is kinda a crappy design as there is a lot of sway (even with the extra/custom rack mount stabilizer), but it is kinda sweet. And plus, canned beer is lighter. It'll haul that just fine.




It is the Brooks B66, originally bought for the matching Schwinn repro cruisers we had (from my 1st seasonal stint in Moab at the Chile Pepper) when we were ski bums in Telluride, last millenium. Remember that? Fucking sweet.

It is the no name seatpost that is silver and adjustable and fits. Sweet.

It is the scavenged Mafac "Racer" brakes all cleaned up and lubed and fitted with dual compound WTB canti pads from when the WTB cantis were the greatest thing ever. Remember that? It is the sweet quick release brake cable guide with integral barrel adjust for the rear of those brakes, which juuuust fit the 700c wheels (hanging around unused in the bike room- the front a Campy Record hub laced to a Mavic MA3 built in/around '01 and the hub had been through so much already by then; but it has a greaseport and newish bearings and it is sweet- the rear a super bargain Formula flipflop fixed Surly14/fixed Surly16 laced to a Mavic Open Pro built last year or the year before; kinda (not really) sweet.

It is the Pletscher rack from some restoration project at Joselyn's which the customer said to "get rid of"...so I have. Several times. It still had the Tecate can clasped in it's aluminum grip from last year's County Line Jamboree, when it was mounted on the incredible flexing Peugot fixte mixte...until the seatpipe gave way and ruined my plans for total domination and I hitched a ride to the party with J__. Remember that? Sweet.

It is the extra long, fluted, hammered aluminum Honjo fenders bought last year for a project that failed to materialize. These days they seem so...pedestrian. I remember when putting fenders on my bike at all was clunky and odd. Look at us now. Very sweet, even if they are not (sigh) brass.



I hate to do it.
It bothers me lots when people put up unfinished stuff; it's like when folks "review" gear they just bought, without even trying it out..."It looks so awesome! I really am so happy with it. Soandso recommends it, and they really know. It will work great if I ever use it...I've used it hard for a week now, and it performs like new!"
But.
It is these upper crusty mud flaps (from last year's no-go project as well) which will match the heinous blue in understated laying-one's-forefinger-along-side-the-nose-and-winking style.





And lastly it is the super custom fender mount. I seem to have misplaced one of the originals, so this will stand in it's stead. Sweet.