forced to reevaluate your goals

I figured I had this bike, the $15 complete, 1989 StumpJhumper (the J is silent I understand), just cluttering up the joint with it's horribly good looking but dissatisfyingly small and spinny 26"edness. A bike around with which it would be possible to tinker. There is a lot of talk about the new new- when is there not in the bike industry?- and it is true I do not love the 26" for myself and my style of riding.

[aside: I feel that wheel size should be chosen to best match rider size/style and that 27.5"/650b-if-you're-nasty has a valid place if you are looking to retrofit a 700c bike with a larger volume tyre for some hott action ungettable on 25mm, or maybe if you are between 5'6'' to 5'11" and are real damn particular, otherwise it is a straight punch to the hard sell and some buy-it-because-you-lack type of snake oil.]

Anyhoo, I had nothing to lose and possibly something to learn, so I ordered some rims (25mm wide Velo Orange Diagonale 32h) and some tyres (2.2' wide Maxxis Ardent front and Crossmark rear- that Crossmark hooks up like a champ, too) and away I went.

27.5" and 26" respectively, in a science shoot-off.

There used to be a stop in the drop...

which I chopped. And later cleaned up with a file.

That derailler was crapped out and got replaced.

Clearance looks good.

I thought perhaps I might retain the Paul's cantis, but nope. For kicks, I put a v-brake arm on the boss. However the tyre is so tall the cable canoe rests atop it. It is times like these that allow me to bask in the warm glow of my bike-part hoard, though....WTB Speedmaster cantis c.1995. That is OG, son. The leverage is unfortunately reduced by moving the pads so far up the arm,but it runs and don't cost nuthin.

 Booty bin almost matching King hubs?!? Yep.

I been sitting on these for a while. This seemed like the time. It's been years since I rode a King rear, and I forgot how instantaneous pawl engagement is. It is a fucking delight.





Swapped out the dirt drops.

New parts are rims, tyres, cables/housing and purple lock-on grips because obviously. It's so nice at this point, I'll trade out the poopy chainrings and BB.



 Yes, I have been riding it. It's fun. The thing I notice most is the King's snappy get-up. The less than optimal cantis feature, too. As for the real point, the wheel size; the 27.5" climbs punchy or steep well. It is a slog on the longer stuff. I notice it's zzzzzzzzzzsmallness, just like a 26", and pine for a bigger momentum. Same on the flats. It handles nicely in the tight singletrack- speaking of which, the new 49?

 Holy shit. I have to say- whoever routed that, you did a real nice job. Thank you! Seems like you were constrained (by BLM distance regs?), and there were a couple too-tight serpentine folds that I think are going to wash out, but you clearly had to dump elevation and your mandate was clearly Good Times. That's a man date I like to go on. Well routed, player. Fun up, fun down.

In the end so far, I remounted the rear baskets and threw on the porteur rack and it will be a fun townie and spare camping bike. It's fun, but not a dedicated trail bike for me. Also, I could potentially use those wheels on that old Salsa La Raza, whenever I actually get that running again.

If, for whatever reason, you got an old 26" bike you wanna swap over, it is likely doable. Even easier if using a disc specific wheelset.

That is all.

next and then

After all this gallivanting on top of the future, a return to the present. Riding the kids to school, riding the self to work(s), etc. These things are not best accomplished on borrowed plastic.

So, to work it is the clown bike on the sneaky dirt. Whoa! hey! there are so many enforcers over there at the moment. I popped out quietly to see the white truck with the emblem parked sideways and I stopped quietly in the trees to see and not be seen. One of the advantages in wearing "normal" clothing on the sneaky commute is the ability to blend in with the Pinks and Normals when needed. I parked the bike discreetly and left my helmet with it and walked out for a look looking just like your average hiker...a little waiting was in order. A few minutes pause in the trees and it was green means GO! the rest of the way.  Anyhow, that bike is a P-I-G pig. I will be removing the B73, as it is a wallowing hog of it's own for any kind of hard climbing. That front spring is not doing me any favors trying to levitate up that one quick access. Trying to perch on the rivet and spin is incompatible with full suspension saddles? Yes, and surprise! The stock Surly front hub continually loosens itself. I can feel the balloon dive sideways under breaking (which- the breaking and diving- is what causes the loosening, I am sure). The fat NeckRomancer is...narrow in it's appeal. I am glad I have it for the camping, but I don't love it for the rest. There, I said it.

On the way back up and over, I almost came across a enforcer again?! Fortunately, I am an experienced ________er, and I approach entrances, intersections, and exits with open eyes. I see you before you see me, is what I'm hoping. Seeing him 1st, I promptly turned around and retreated a bit for more waiting. Waiting will pay off, and again it became clear for some coasting. I do enjoy some sneaking. If the payoff is sweet singletrack? I relish some sneaking. It keeps out the riffraff. You know who you are.



Taking the kids to school- well, J is my own and there are 2 others from our street who ride with us regularly and some more who come and go- I have been hopping on the kids' green bike. That how we refer to the incredibly understated Schwinn Cimmaron: bi-laminate construction, bi-ovalized tubing, made in Japan, with Wald baskets and the ruined-yet-proud B66. I love that bike. It is so unassuming and ready to get busy. It has motivated me to mimic it's readiness with the build of this Last Chance sourced StumpJumper. Last Chance Mercantile is the junk shop at the dump, so it is aptly named. Every now and again there is a treasure among the trash, and I'm the sort who will search. I feel it's better I have it than ("someone who actually needs it"- anon. riffraff) a villain who won't appreciate it.

  A spare camping bike for my brother? A loaner for dirtbags from out of town? The Equalizer? It will make a fine beater for school shuttling and trips to the local SavMart, where cases of Hamm's can be had on the cheap. Anything further calls for some man sized wheels.



Eh. It's a work in progress. I like to tinker. Waiting on some eggplant Neubaum's cotton tape, which will really tie it together. The BB clicks ominously, the cassette is a wee slippy, and the sweet XTR cantis (c. 1996 oh yeah) will NOT lay down a fat skid. The rear wheel has a hop in it that is undeniable, but "better than it was". This (the ridiculous hop) was fun to attempt to fix, since it was so bad. The whole bike cost $18, what's to lose? Maybe the color scheme had something to do with the cheapness (perhaps was the reason someone saw it as trash) but it appeals to the iconoclast in me. The lines of the bike are so roots that it appeals to the idolater in me. Back in the late 80s, when 1st I began to ride the mountain bikes a StumpJumper was second only to an MB1 on the want list. It's only taken me 25 years.

You begin well, Sir. I never trust a man who says "when"...

In taking the Karate Monkey down to a (dirty) bare frame, I noticed this crack in the drive-side chainstay.


I think it may have been the source of the creaking coming from the BB. I think. It is cracked all the way around the front side of the chain stay, and about a quarter of the back side. Is that bad?



Here is a side by side looky loo of the old boss and the new boss. I loves a big head tube. (That's what she said.) I think the Fargo will make a fine camping bike. I only had time today to break the KM down, and face the head tube and BB shell on the Fargo. On the horizon- straight parts swap. No love, just grease.

I got stuff to do, cuz the kids are out of school this whole week for "October Break"...

you're not carnival personnel!!

There are categories of bikes.
Within these categories are niches.
Within these niches are windowless dive bars peopled by shady lowlifes. It may happen that you need to lock your bike up here, and when it does happen you will count yourself fortunate to have prepared for this inevitability by building a bike to fit this particular seedy niche:
the bar bike.


The bar bike is your townie, stripped of all precious componentry. This is harder than it sounds. You think to yourself, "Whatevah!" (because that is how you talk ) "I have a huge booty bin of parts! I can whip something together in no time." But, before you know it, your beater has been turned out with that sweet high flange intricately cut-out Campy Record wheelset you have hanging up in the workroom. Or those undeniably comfortable yet slightly too narrow Ti 16*bend WTB handlebars. Or that rough around the edges and heavy as a boilermaker 3 sprung Brooks touring saddle, or that sweet 40spoke tandem front wheel... Etc.

Now you see.

Those are all parts you are not currently using, yes. But you would hate to lose them even so, and that is the complicating factor in this build. A true bar bike requires mechanical soundness (who can fix anything demanding more than a good kick when departing the 4th lube joint en route to the 5th?) and a modicum of comfort (seedy bars are not all gathered in one convenient neighborhood), yet also demands that the bike be subject to prolonged exposure in the most debauched of locales...yes, sometimes even overnight. Frankly, crashing is to be expected at some point, too.


There is the latest iteration of my bar bike. If you're out driving in your car and rekanize me, just roll up next to me and yell "FAGGOT!" or throw something...I'll know it's you.

primeval jungle plantings

Same, same, different. Did some work (turning down custom warshers, finishing dropout clamp areas, reaming, tapping, reaming, tapping, tapping, tapping) this week learning to use the mill and the lathe in Santa Cruz (or is that Capitola right there? I get all your little important divisions mixed up). That's right, you heard right, I am learning me some small steps towards using machines that make the bicycles. Some time this winter I expect to step up to the torch and wreck a bunch of stuff.



Mr. Myagi (my personal Pat Morita) refuses to do mystic ish like sending me to fetch a sprig of poison oak from Santa Rosalia, but he is all to happy to assign the wax on wax off work that is slowly and secretly turning me into your worst nightmare: me in the middle of your little group ride on a matchine of my own devising. You know the second one I make will be a mixte. Don't kid yourself.

All's I can say is: fuck yeah. Maybe it's cuz I'm such a noob at this, but perhaps it's just cuz it is so freaking cool to make bike. Whatevah. I'm well stoked.

And in the meantime, I try to hawk one. I try to hawk one, in the meantime. Taking a break in the middle of your day to go and ride the sweet singletrack is well advised; particularly when staring down the barrel of a big rain. I will say that it is getting pret-ty mucky under the redwoods. I hadda do the right thing and get off that one trail and head back to the dryish fireroad for the up. I also had to give in to the Dark Side and ride down that serpentine and most perfectly pitched singletrack on the down.

Perhaps it is time to consider Fort Ord, and it's excellent drainage characteristics. Home trails are coming into season right now. And on that note, the Full Wolf Moon is coming at you on a fast lope. Saturday (hear the sound of obligation dogs calling, you have to go if it's a weekend night) the 30th. Lift your leg and mark your calendar.




And, plus apropos of the type of riding one will do under the Full Moon (i.e. super tanked) I have had a little wake up call of my very own. I was riding that one local loop last week when I stopped at the stopping place and took off my helmet and had a beer and made a few calls and such. I then picked up my helmet from it's hanging spot on the log and put it on. It was very cold and wet, like your helmet gets when it's all sweated up and you foolishly take it off and allow the sweat-filled pads to lose body heat. Yuck. I turned to get on my bike. And there on the handlebars was the helmet I had been wearing on that ride. I had left the log helmet on the log days before, and had enough to drink on my mind that I didn't notice I rode off helmetless. Not as crazy as it might be, as I ride helmetless often enough (suck on that, safety advocates) that the sensation is not unfamiliar, but not as copacetic as it might be either. Time to reign meself in some.

Words to live by, bicthes. I hope you are well.