Evil brushes it's teeth

If you are the guy who stops the group so he can adjust his suspension, you lack a fundamental awareness of (cycling) etiquette.  Yes, if you haven't taken care to adjust your Xs, your Ys or your Zs before you start (one more reason to ride to the ride, as if you needed it) then the proper course is to wait until the first naturally occurring break and do it then.

None of your bros- no matter how "down"- want to wait for your pissing, your seat height adjustment, your lens changing, or your one last whatever. So, if you left your key/shoes/helmet at the shop and don't have a means to get in and get it yourself, you're fucked. If you invite yourself along (and if folks tolerate it), expect to be responsible for your own ride. That means having your own pump, patch kit, spare tube, tools, water, food, jacket, beer, whiskey, weed, and any other damn thing you might want or need. If you invite yourself and you require someone else to ride from the meet-up back to the shop and open it  so you can get any of these items, you are an asshole. And finally, if that is the case and you invited the new Fucking New Guy (who happens to be a girl) that none of us have ever met, whose riding level none of us know, who doesn't have a bike of her own, and requires that we ride a further couple miles out of the way to the other shop to get her a rental? You need a punch in the fucking head.

That is some True Facts right there. Another true fact is that so and so pulled some of those things on the last group go-round. I don't mind being the bad guy, so I threw his ass off the ride.

Full Invite Only Moon tonight, fools.

hey! did I ever tell you 'bout the time I married my cousin out in Las Vegas, Nevada?

Last night I dreamed.

I dreamed the wife and I were walking up a road in a mountain town holding armloads of flyers for some event. There was some big festival going on- Bluegrass or something. I was pushing the Big Dummy, and set it down on a lawn as we stopped to post a few of these flyers. As it was a dream, I did a thing I'd never do in real life- I walked away from the bike and forgot it. Even in dreams, though, I do like the bicycles and very quickly realized the error.

When I turned around, some bike thief was getting on the bike and clumsily turning around for a get away. I began to run after, yelling "Stop!" I ran in slow motion. He was getting away, through the crowds of festival goers. I yelled again, "Stop that long bike!" But he absconded. I ran too slow.

I asked the group lounging on the lawn if I could borrow a bike to give chase and a gal obliged. It was a burning man special- all trashed and loaded up with dirty accoutrements. I chased, and I rode in slow motion. Eventually, I was hiking the bike down a cliff-side singletrack. It was the next morning and I was still looking. I saw the thief below me, giving joyrides to his degenerate friends in the camping area. I made my way through several confused obstacles down to the field. I wandered the rows of campers and autos and I considered what to do with the POS loaner which now had a front flat; the tyre hanging off the rim. I knew I couldn't leave it and it was incredibly frustrating.

Then I woke up mad. I tried to go back to sleep so's I could catch that thief and give him a beating, but to no avail.

showing ghosts everywhere and of every colour

Whoa.

Doucheblog Cycling working the heavy bag...

Hey.

what kind of a cult are you running here?

Fine. Play possum. I can take a hint.


This weekend in lieu of zombification viz. sitting in peeyous, we will elect to root out the brightly colored candy-delivery packages which are to be clandestinely routed through the medium of me+bicycle on that one trail.

You celebrate your magical interpretation of seasonal change your way, without forcing your views down other folks' Rights, and I will do the same.



Unrelatedly, watch out for bike thieves...








Furtherly unrelatedly, I finished changing friend E___'s crappy GT Avalanche into an Xtracrappy GT Avalanche. That thing is now waaaaaay more comfortable. And safe. And clean (coating your drivetrain in hardened wax based lube and sand is no way to go thru life). Done on the cheap with shifter/brake combo V-brake upgrade courtesy of the parts bins. Same for admittedly questionable suspension post (the old one's head was detaching) as well as the light and functional ladies saddle.

What does he care? He's a surfer.


E___ plans to bring his son L____ camping via said Xtracrapcyle...but we all know how plans laid in California have shaky foundations. Hopefully this means my youngest will have his buddy along for the Spring Break Bikecamping Trip 2012. No, I'm not forcing them to do Coe.


Yet.

I'm allergic to fake bitches

and to all this pollen painting the town yellow. It's as though the backs of my eyes are made of sawdust and my nose is running nonstop. I'm blinking and sneezing my way through Global Warming 2012.

Speaking of, it was a day for trail maintenance on the dirt commute way to work. All those slappy branches on the HWY sneak? Gone. I do need to get a pair of loppers and get after the poison oak while it's leafless and vulnerable, though.


The perfectly sized Revelate Frame Bag (available through your local bike shop!) holds a full size scabbarded pull saw perfectly. Like you'd hope it would.


Recent experience with largeish timber cutting has done changed my outlook on what is/not able to be tackled. It was that one, plus another 2 the same size, and that larger deadfall. I need to get a bigger boat to tackle the 18" snag. Anyhow, the trail is speedier for the work and I enjoy doing it.

Can you spot the difference?



Also, there was a note on the stump at the end of the HWY1 sneak, written in pencil on pink paper, directing Donny to call Walt. The trail had been blocked and the pencil end shattered under what I can only assume was Walt's forceful writing...

Is Donny the creeper who lives (stealthily, I add) off that trail? Who left the note? Surely it was Walt? Was Walt upset? Why? Has Donny blown it? Is something?

give a whoot whoot

We are blessed in this region with an abundance of sweet trails. Many of them are under the redwoods. Those are really big trees, and when they fall it makes a hell of a...mess on those trails.


I went on a recent Trail Crew overnight whose specific purpose was the removal of that log above.

Things you never think about: 1)when a tree like that hits the ground from such a height, it shatters. 2)all those lumber sized fragments have their own twists and pressures in relation to the whole, so a saw can get pinched as the pieces shift due to cutting alone (much less the odd push from the rest of the tree) 3)6' of saw is a BIG saw and it cuts almost effortlessly from it's own weight as you rock it back and forth and 4)big lumber has a scary amount of Force.


...ACTION!



It was a fine camp out...sleeping under the stars. Lucky for me, too, cuz the forecast had said 0% rain all week so there I was with no rain gear, no tent, and a down bag when it started drizzling in the afternoon. I was looking at spending the night with my upper body covered by a 4x4 tarp and my lower 1/2 stuffed in my pack, and that's not a good look. As luck had it, the skies cleared, the stars came out and the owls were having a old time hootenanny.

My legs are tender. Backpacking is hard.

my posse's gettin big and my posse's gettin bigger

Whoa.

Those guys at Salsa are really running with this fat bike deal. Full squish?! I scoff. But then, I scoffed at the Pugsley when it was introduced (I thought it was too one note to be of use)...I know I'll give it a try. Untried, I think it is not a best-use type scenario. I appreciate the fat bike for it's simplicity, it's partial squish with no linkages to fail or wiggle.


And, plus those guys at Surly just really wear their heads up their asses on their sleeves. And I love that.

if you stay ready, you don't gotta get ready

I been biding my time, using my mind and my imagination, with little bitty rides. Taking the boy to school (he rides 95% of the time), getting to work or the beer store (separate for now). The local loop has it's variations and iterations and repetitions...

None of this is inspiring me to stop and pull out my phone/camera and take super rad photos to accompany words about the same rides or sections of rides you've seen here day in and out. Days when I'm prevented from riding or getting some outside flow are days when I am most innerested in getting some vicariously via the monitor- so we all feel the same itch, I know.

Imagine a shadowy (dubious, questionable) figure gliding by the edges of your scene. Add some grit. The sand is beginning to pack up in the Ord very nicely. Is it getting slick where you are? Winter is the finest season for off-road hereabouts. I'm ready. Cross bikes uber alles.

My arm is repairing. Staying on the flat bars for now. Dreaming dreams of Fat Bikes. Picturing little 2-3 day tours.

Still waiting on the Supernova system, but one part of the order did show up: A solar powered lithium-ion battery pack for charging my phone. Some Sollight product is distributed through QBP (who knew?) which means you can get this stuff at your local bike shop. In writing this, I don't find the charger I have purchased on the company site, so maybe it's discontinued in favor of their current model, but you can get the charger from your shop while supplies last. Geek out:



Well, you know. Xmas is coming. And, speaking of....



Blow your mind.

No, really. Blow it. Do it. My mind is blown.

you are led to Look and See

The Brooks Boultbee Jacket. Their hat in the ring (as it were) of cycling apparel. That up there is some dude/not me getting fitted by master bespoke tailor Timothy Everest and his lovely British assistant. I assume.

I want that jacket so bad.

I been sitting on this one. Everone (you would be amazed at the # of show goers who did not spend time in the Brooks booth!) I took to see this jacket- the Brooks employees accused me of it being the 4th time I'd come in just to ogle the coat- was unimpressed. Maybe it's the (estimated) $1,400.00 price tag, maybe it's that they were sober, maybe it's just that they all lack taste & sophistication... Whatever it is, I gots to get a better class of friends. Ones who'll buy me this coat!

I want that jacket so bad.

If it appeals to you in at all the way it appeals to me (I would live in it), then perhaps you care to geek out with a video. It mentions the details-there are many- I examined at length. Not limited to the integral ribbon shoulder straps so that if you overheat it may be worn off the back (like a cape!?!). Seriously, it's like my 6 year old mind was shown Lawrence of Arabia (minus the part where it's implied he is buggered by the Turks, which is inappropriate for 6 year olds) and Batman was in there for good measure.

Jackets suck. They all overheat you, and none are waterproof like they claim. At least in this I would be uncomfortable in style.

Imagine if this were not pussified with a motor. How bad ass is that?

I'm sorry you had to see this.

a ___ of enormous erudition

I don't know about you.

I do know that the Full Harvest Moon has been rescheduled from the officious and restrictive 12th of September to the free-wheeling and debauched 9th and 10th! You like apples? This may or may not be a horrible mistake, given that cross season begins on the 11th!!!!!! but we must gather our rosebuds while the moon shines, mustn't we?

-insert screeching needle party stoppage type sound here-

I just checked the cccx site, and the race has been rescheduled for Saturday the 10th. Eff you, Keef. Now the wind is gone from 'neath my wings. I had a whole spirited roll type thing going and now it's lost like spilt sour mash. _uck! I got the day off and everything.


The moon thing stands.

Oh, the humanity

Lady came in today and haggled and haggled and then wanted 10% off for life.

"We're spending a lot of money here. Oh, you can do this. Come on. You can do this. You can. You can do this." A little sing song of avarice. I wanted to slap her so badly.

What? The? F?

No. She wasn't crazy. That would have been much more tolerable.

take no chances

Today at the bike shop.

I had a lady come in and return a $200(I know, neither would I) mountain bike helmet because she "already had a pink helmet" but had wanted a white one to match her other jersey, but upon reflection decided it was silly to spend that money on a helmet just for the color. I was with her so far. Then she wanted to know what the differences between helmets were (shape/ventilation/weight...they all- even (especially?) the kids' helmets have to pass the same impact tests) and which was lighter than the one she was returning. Well, none. That's a big part of why the helmet cost $200 (I know, neither would I). Soooo, X is close in weight but it has unattractive graphics, and Y is close in weight and comes in white- but it's a...a...road helmet.

Yes, but all helmets pass the same- yes, you can wear a road helmet to ride your mountain bike. People do. I prefer road helmets for their streamlined shape and visorless magnificence, and I ride the heck out of some trails. No, but you can wear a cycling cap under your helmet if you need a visor.

I almost laughed because my 1st reaction was: "Oh. Good one." But this poor gal was not joking, she was genuinely stressed.


I (I thought) talked her down and sold her a $60 road helmet (no visor), and credited her card the difference. Then she wanted to know if this helmet didn't actually come with a visor, and had I misplaced it, because the illustration on the box which showed how to properly position the helmet on one's head showed a visored helmet.

But: Even though "the last guy" (wha? I really don't see it) at our shop told her only a mountain bike helmet would suffice for mountain biking, and even though her father told her she "looked like a bug without the visor" causing her to try on the road helmet with 2 different pair of glasses to check for bug-like-itude and ultimately declare it OK, and even though I politely yet pointedly asked her if she were happy with her choice...20 minutes later I answered the call from our sister store where she was returning that helmet because her husband had told her that a road helmet would not work.




What the hell?

People. There is no wrong way to do it. Let yourself go!

button all your lips

When I was 13 growing up in Austin,TX, a friend and I were getting paid by his realtor mom to move "junk" out of a rental house whose tenants had been evicted. In the garage were stacks and stacks and stacks of local punk albums. The tenants had to have worked for a distributor, because there were a LOT of albums. I ended up with the entire Black Flag catalog, because their songs had titles to which I could relate. One of the albums I took home was The Butthole Surfers' "Brown Reason to Live."

It confused me. The music was like nothing I'd ever heard before.

I ended up playing the record at 33 1/3, which made sense to me as it was a "full size record", as opposed to a tiny 45. Eventually I realized it was an EP meant to play at 45rpm, but by then it was too late. I was used to it. Now all the songs sound waaaay too fast to me.






All you people.

Not one of you (that's right: you) came through on our plans to head down to Big Sur for the riding, and I think we're effed now because school's out next week and the summer hordes will converge on the place and it's a no go. Maybe at night?




Anyhow, am I riding this thing at the right speed? Listening to the Test Bike Stumpjumper FSR Comp 29er was different and confusing. Interesting, because I rode my local and I've been listening to that on the regular aboard my 26" Santa Cruz Blur LT. This makes me feel well qualified in my impressions.

I liked the big wheels for pedaling pave sections. They were much nicer than the inefficient hamster wheeling feeling I get from pave on my Blur. The Comp 29 climbs much more smoothly than my squishy bike (which has a jerky, jabbing quality when climbing steep and low; each stroke is like a pedal stab) but this may be due to the fact that it had no granny. 2x10 I could take or leave. I like the idea of a tighter chain line, but the lack of granny hurt a couple times. Thinking of bikepacking with a 2x10 hurts me knees' brains.

Obviously, the Stumpy is new and feels new- I noticed the tapered steerer Rockshox Reba (with a 20mm thru-axle) felt like a straight arm to the ground. Steering precision. I like it.

The straight flat bar I flat-out hated. Hated. It felt like my wrists were turned inward. SUCKY.

I swapped my own saddle/post set-up over. Climbing, I wished I'd taken the time to dial the nose down some. Then on descents I'd think it felt just right.

Although it did not feel as though the front end was dangerous to know, I can say: I would not buy this bike. It feels too tall and therefor tippy. The wheelbase is noticeably too long. Clumsy, even. It was much harder to slip through the tight and twisty maritime chaparral.

Truism: Everthing is a trade-off.

I am open to the possibility of a 29" dually, but this ain't the one. In the interest of full squish- so far I'll stick with the 26" end of the trade. How much pave efficiency do I need in a bike designed around going fast over rough stuff? I'll err on the side of nimble, stable, low.


I did break here, at the Caprock cave of wonders, and

based on forensic evidence, the 3 cans on the right are not my leavings. Folks is getting migh-tee cavalier about leaving their trash in the woods at the Caprock and other points. I hadda wear a pack today, so I removed all this, but.

PACK YOUR TRASH.



...AND, PLUS, SHOW UP WHEN IT SUITS ME FOR RIDES. Else I gotta find some actual cool people who can ride on Mondays and Tuesdays.

ridicule is nothing of which to be scared

For those of y'all who visit to keep up with the latest in bar styles and hippest music...



you are in luck, Friend.





D_____'s new bar set up on his new ride.



31.8 matte black riser mated to a frame matching white stem is out. Back-swept Nitto Jitensha (too narrow for me) held with whatever stem I had lying in the parts box (in this case Bontrager Race -oooooooh) that would work is in. I also shoved his saddle forward.



Don't hate. Celebrate.

bike set up

Having just had a house-load of bike folk around and about, I am thinking about bike fit. Yes, again.

I got on the Surly LHT for the 1st time in moooonths (since I installed the Nitto moustache bars, in fact) and it's too long. I want to like those bars (esp. as I have several pair), but unless the bike (and more to the point, the stem) is very short, they just pull me into an uncomfortably splayed lean. I'll be removing them, and replacing with something else; not sure yet, maybe drops, maybe some Albatross/Northroad type.

In looking at D and his new bike, similar observations are highlighted. As per yesterday, he needs some getback. He can dig scrapping. But he can't dig...that...backstabbing.



When I lived in Moab (should I say operated from?) it was common courtesy to loan out-of-towners a bike if they needed one.

Apparently that is not a custom in California?

This led to some inneresting sights as people matched well to the loaner or didn't, but it was a given that a bike could be had within certain circles. It was also a given that the borrower took full responsibility for, and good care of, the loaned ride. You just knew that. I'm not going to get into the dangers of cross-chaining a narrow-assed 9speed drive train, but I will say it might behoove a person to give a different set up a fair trial before adjusting everything (seat height, brake feel, etc) to their familiar ways. Particularly if the borrowed bike is a cross bike, and the familiar set up is all DH/jumpy- keep the saddle up there where you can have some pedaling efficiency!

Hoping your bike fits,
Dick

line notes are temporary.

Listen to Willie Nelson.

's not my chair. Not my chair, not my problem.

are you looking for the mother lode?

There was this old man who spent so much of his life riding around in the moon light that he could see in the dark. He resides near the beach, in a town where I am going to live.



Speeding down the pave with no lights a week before the Full Wolf Moon? Why, yes, thanks. We are at 75% and waxing. What's not to love? Gates. Gates are not to be loved. 8 foot high galvanized linked and locked, is not to love.

For my part, I try to be cautious (as much as that applies to the inherent ridiculousness of hauling ass by moonlight) as I race around tearing ish up. I stick to trails I know (HA! until we get lost), stay out of the trees where it's dark (or worse- dappled moon light/dark shadows), keep things reined in some...but it is what it is. It is exciting!

When you realize you are coming up fast on a gate from nowhere (when did that go up?) it is exciting plus guest. I started hollering "Hey! HEY! Heyheyheyheyheyheyhey-" and we were there. As soon as I realized the gate, I began pitching the bike to the left and braking and skidding for all I was worth. Hey!Patchkitguy was right behind me, PROpeloton style. When I heard the resounding clang I was already off the bike and looking- there's Christopher St. John, upright and unscathed, with his right brake hood shoved up into the links and a slack look on his face.

I had to laugh.

It was terrifying. That could have been so bad. (Remember when Garvin hit the steel pipe gate on the other side and endoed over it? It was miraculous like that, only better.) Mr. St. John had masterfully, luckily, happily, thankfully performed his own flawless pitch to the left and cleverly used the fencing as a backstop. It even caused the half against which he was not lounging to conveniently fall over so we could waltz across and continue our ride.

After that, it was like butter.

smut pictures

I was going to talk about my bike ride and how it was and what that meant to me, but listen to this:




It's apparent why I had to stop.


Well, it was drizzly and I needed some coffee.


The Big Dummy in "HUFFY" livery...to "keep the tweakers away".


Fuji branded saddle from the 70s, with a second layer of leather underlying the main piece in a sneaky hammock manner. Never treated with anything.

I know damn well he polishes those rivets with a special vinegar paste he's concocted.


Conduit epoxied in place to prevent (further) deformation of the boom tube. The kickstand is authorized Surly/Xtracycle parts, but this guy runs a heavy load.


Custom.


This is how he does it.



I went in and got my coffee. This guy was not hard to pick out as the rider,

and was more than happy to talk about his rig. It was a very (long) inneresting conversation. He's been running an 8speed Alfine for the past year and a half. Says it's going strong. The straight chainline alone is convincing me. His load is 362lbs. That's a solid recommendation.

8 years of touring. He started in Boston and headed to Seattle in an attempt to get happy, realized it was the greatest time of his whole life and kept on. He's only a little bit crazier than you, but look at the time he's having.

you're the one barking

I lost a lot of Roshambo, I'll tell y'all that much.


Oh! my aching liver...back from Interbike, mind and wallet emptied. Some people fuss about Vegas (which is mooter than ever since the show is going- without me- to Anaheim next year) but I enjoy the place once a year. I stayed in my van, sleeping on residential side streets, so I saved on the cost of a hotel room. I missed all of y'all reading at home (looking at you, Moab) who've been faithful hallwalking/heckling companions at shows past, but there were plenty of Good People with whom to gawk at bike bits and talk about bike rides.

I particularly enjoyed the Demo this year. I wore my finest Primal Wear, and had a banana in my chamois so you knew I was glad to see you.

I rode the Salsa Fargo and liked it quite a bit. That's good since I took delivery of an XL/22" upon my return. (I got it on sale!) It will replace the Karate Monkey as my all arounder/camping bike. The taller headtube and 6(!!!!!!) bottle mount options will be well appreciated. I liked the Woodchipper bars on the demo even though they are a mere 46cm, and I hope the changes made to this year's model (change in BB height, 5mm shorter chainstays) are minimal enough that I haven't jumped the gun in pulling the trigger sure as shooting, so to speak...even though there is now to be a titanium option. Whatever, I'll be swapping parts from the Karate Monkey (including it's creaktastic drive train) and riding them until they break beyond repair.

It's how I roll.

I rode the Santa Cruz Tall Boy, and was well impressed with it as well ( save for the double pinch flats on the pinner Maxxis tyres). I have no desire for a new full squish, but I wanted to feel the ride. The 29" wheels felt well placed and as snappy as I could want. As always, the Santa Cruz folks were pleasant and knowledgeable.

But what I really rode? For the better part of Day 1, and all of Day 2 (forsaking all others) was the Surly Pugsley. Yep. That bike. The one we've all- myself not least- pointed out as being ridiculously single use. I rode that monster up the fire road for laps on the long singletrack down and had no trouble at all keeping up with whomever on whatever. It wasn't grotesque in it's heaviness- it was like the graceful and stylish fat man of days gone by (remember Sidney Greenstreet, remember Huey P. Long) as it danced it's dance of PARTY TIME! Those big wheels soaked up every bump and dip, allowing me freedom to take any full squish line that struck my fancy. And plenty struck my fancy. I fancy the Pugsley as an insanely capable camping bike, among other things. Though I can't see getting one at this time (it is pretty limited), that doesn't stop me from wanting one.

The Surly trailer is every bit as sturdy as you'd expect. The Surly staff is every bit as sturdy as you'd expect, as well. Nicely done all around.

The show itself? Eh. The more I see, the less I covet. In corners and odd places there were shiny bits to tempt any of us (Euro-Asia had the hammered brass fenders from Honjo!), but overall it was more of the same. I am continuingly glad that cargo bikes and real world bikes are the current "in thing". Raleigh and Bianchi have very nice lines this year. Swobo continues to make things and make them well, and I am favorably inclined to their worldview. Talking to a brand manager about the excess of "Stuff" is a refreshing change of pace.

You know there're better photos and reviews other places- go look at them.


...ask me about my 1st tatoo.

a warm, pestilential Evil

Velocache?


Velocache, bitches. Again, it's on like Donkey Kong. Get some!



I'll stop squawking about the weather in general, but I will say that this is a strange place for which to dress. The day was very temperate ( some would say scorchingly hot at ~80*) in town, but in Fort Ord the fog layer was so thick and so low that it was chilly and grey except where there were holes. The strange part is that you can feel the wrongness of it; you can feel the heat underlying the chill. The day knows it should be one thing, but it's forced to be another. It's weird.

Breaking out of the fog...and you can see Toro Park rising up in the background. It has just received a bonus 624acres! To my mind that means it is available to be reconnoitered.



I found these targets while looking at a potential cache site. They are for practicing to hunt the most dangerous game of all. I like how they appear to have been shot once each with a scatter gun.

I will return for them to hone my aim. BB guns may be used to hunt the most dangerous game of all.


You can juuuust see the "Impossible City" training ground for the CSUMB Police Academy, late of the FBI. It is for practicing to hunt the most dangerous game of all. The controlled burns (to ensure all uneploded ordinance is cleared for public safety) sure seem to have been used to make the approach sterile.


Here I see the tracks of...the most dangerous game of all.