an angry mob of bumpkins

 I received an invitation to ride a bike on trails in the woods. It was addressed to me personally (and insistently).

 RSVP me: charmed, I'm sure!



The very next day, I and my dance partners all received the very same invite. The same, but different.

 An after-school trip through the wildflowers is an afternoon well spent. Friends, the Happy Trails behind the DOD (I realize) are open again and briefly, so get some while the getting is good.

In closing, I would like to address the Citizens of Earth: People, people, Spring has sprong and the trails are getting overwhelmed by the poison oak and the thistle. I don't know what all is crowding your particular trails,but over here on the West side, the poison oak is drunk with power. Join me in kicking it's ass. It is very easy to take time out of your busy ride to pick up a switch and whip the growing ends of the noxious weed. This works! It breaks very easily at the splits as well, so if you are dealing with a well developed batch, you can strike at the joins and come out on top. It is best to wear gloves and long sleeves and not wipe your face right after, but get with the program cuz Fort Ord singletrack is laced with face high tendrils in all the good spots, and this matters to you.

J replied to my rhetorical question of why no one else stops and deals with this pressing issue by telling me "You're helpful, that's why you do it." So. Live up to your rep and help knock back the oak.

 The needle-spined milk thistle (Silybum marianum) is taking over whole secret entrances to certain trails, and needs to be stamped out. For reals. This stuff is covered in hypodermic stabbing needles that deliver pain to your legs. Supposedly it is good for the liver function and is used as an ingredient in teen-ager energy drink Rockstar?!? Whatever, the benefits are not delivered via leg stabbing, so it is no use to me. I'm stomping all over it. Maybe I'll get herbalistic and harvest some as well.

A few minutes with the internet and I'm a expert. I should grab some yarrow, and some wild fennel, as those are helping the hypodermic needle-spined milk thistle clog up the (very well shaded) secret exit.

Also, and finally- the trails up and over are strewn with GIANT sized Slippery Jack mushrooms and plentiful Amanitas. I saw a lone Porcini, but the bugs had ravaged it. It was terribly unfair to have missed it's prime by a day, but I guess that's the breaks. I love how riding trails is not only one of the funnest things to do, but it gets you to work and allows you to witness Red Shouldered Hawks stooping, crashing down within feet of you and you get to see Great Horned Owls silently glide to a landing as the sun goes down.

Getting stoked over here, Boss.





I also find myself looking at the assorted (and I do mean ass) log situations with a newly critical eye. Casual chainsaw Charlie throws out multiple cuts which are so poorly thought- out that the resultant stumps are bound together and left still blocking trail? Who works like that?  A plodding dullard. Someone who doesn't love gliding along at speed, deftly angling with the flow and pitch of a well laid and weller maintained trail. Me? I'm a get my shit together, boy.