Next Full Moon

Sunday, May 3rd Full Flower Moon

03 April 2011

1. Lord loves a workin man.

2. Don't trust whitey.

3. See a Doctor. Get rid of it.

3 simple rules in the English language. Words to live by, folks.

Night rides? yes. Leaving your lights off to save power? you might be seeing more than you'd like of the peelers. We'd taken the bike path out to the Ord (why?) and so were cornering our way back to the Parker Flats cutoff entrance, when upon making a fast right, we popped out in front of the popo. All lit up from behind, and a fuzzy amplified voice telling us "You 3, pull over NOW."
"Why didn't you pull over when I told you the 1st time?"
We had the wind in our ears.
"I'll take that. What are you doing riding with no lights?"
We thought our blinkies were on. We were trying to save the headlights' power. We're turning them on right now. Shuffle and scrape, my sons. Smile and nod. Bow and whimper.
"It's for your safety. What are you doing riding out here?"
Training for a 24 hour event. (ha!)
"That's admirable. Let me see your licenses. Not riding the trails out here are you?"
I won't go into everthing surrounding this, suffice it to say I began sweating for a whole new host of reasons. My backpack full of beer and camping supplies wasn't helping. Neither was that other thing. Or that other other thing. And I didn't have my ID.
He was a block from his HQ, and too eager to end his shift to run the IDs, and we had pulled off seeming sober respectful citizens, went as well as possible.

I am inspired to cast these pearls, so, when dealing with the one time, attempt to control the situation in the following ways...
1. Don't panic.
2. Be respectful. This really should go without saying, but I have been in similar situations in which companions have copped an attitude and/or been surly. This never works. Johnny Law will never let this slide. Shut the hell up and take it, or they will make it worse. Believe me.
3. Steer the encounter in the direction of you needing help, not enforcement... You're injured. You have mechanical problems and need tools or are waiting for a ride home with your broken machine.It's a winning strategy! This switches the scene from administering justice to administering aid; a shift in your favor.

You're welcome.

After all this, what was left was to immediately hop on those trails, pop some tops and drop some hammers. We stowed our packs in the bushes, and rode around real fast. Then I piled up inside a loose corner on downhill 50 and cracked some ribs on my left side.

OMG, this hurts. It is the hurt that keeps on hurting. I never realized how much movement depends on oblique abdominals bracing. You know what they brace off? Ribs.


Jonny Hamachi said...

Preach it Reverend!

Joe said...

So have you found your special purpose yet?? ;)

reverend dick said...

It must have been those cans of Hamm's.

He hates cans!

rental elf said...

Nice article, thanks for the information.

Johann Rissik said...

It's a fair cop Guv, slap on the bracelets and I'll come clean.

Lord Hayden said...

I hope spambot rental elf really improves its life with all of this information.

Kind of thought that sheepdog near LS was going to murder us. Long night.

msantos said...

mmmmmmm...all the indian food hurt a bit goin back up that hill....but you were right it was worth it. thanks for the coffee and good times, except the crazy death march. keep that ish wrapped up and do a lot of that other (other) thing.

Juancho said...

All these years with the internet and I finally got something useful.

Thanks Rev!

Tim said...

mmmmmm.... rental elf