Next Full Moon

Sunday, May 3rd Full Flower Moon

02 January 2012

squares don't roll well

A ____'s love is very different from that of a square. This has never been more apparent to me than Right Now.

Today started out so familiarly, with the fixed cross bike and the new/used chain required by the last minute inspection/lube (as the old/used chain was so worn it rode the tooth tips of the 46). Well used routes of pavement to dirt to pavement to dirt to pavement...found me at Alfredo's just after sunset.

Some of y'all will recall how they let us put the bikes in the bar, and some of y'all will recall when they've refused us. I thanked the barman for allowing me to put my bike in the corner of the bar. After I'd asked for a shot of Wild Turkey and a cold Coors I told the barman, J__, that I had an odd request and began the process of explaining Velocache. Hopefully this all works out, because no sooner had I finished that arrangement I opened my mouth real wide and put my foot right in there.

I asked the owner, D___, just how many bikes we could bring in, hypothetically, and then pressed it one more rejoinder when told "no more than 3". Wow, was that the wrong approach. I pointed out that practically speaking, 7 bikes could physically occupy that space (if the table were scooted slightly towards the bar) and then he'd have 7 folks spending at least $10 each. This would in no way affect the rest of the bar- it's never filled, and no one sits at that table anyhow as it is directly below the TV. Both the gentlemen were deeply offended. I apologized. I thought I had it saved when I got a laugh about turning it into a "biker bar."

Then I asked about the possibility of a 6er of canned beer for the ordering. Wowow.
"This is not a canned beer bar." I was not aware there was that distinction.
"Strike 2, Dick! What's the 3rd gonna be?!" I guess folks don't want to associate with the type of lowlife (viz. me) who would order a canned beer inside. There were questions as to my age, and how long I had been in the bar business. I was invited to name bars wherein I had successfully ordered a canned beer.

I apologized again and said no more. I don't need any 3rd strikes, whoa.

35ish mixed miles. The old school singlespeed loops aren't all there, but there are (again) some real nice swoopy connectors between Parker Flats Cut-off and Happy Trails.


blackcatbicycles said...

Not A Canned Beer Bar!?!
do they think their little lincoln log set behind the bar qualifies them as "high class"? maybe its the orange light bulbs.

strike three: ask them when the tiny chuck e cheese pops out of the little diorama. and, "where's the ski ball?"

not a canned beer bar...
...shit, i've seen real, live fireworks go off inside there.

glad to have you back, rev.
the peninsula was a little too square while you were away.

reverend dick said...

We should hit those trails before they're gone (again). I know you've seen some real live fireworks there as well.

I was this close to getting 86ed from Alfredo's?!? What the?

I'm getting prepped for next week...

blackcatbicycles said...

86ed from alfredo's...
that should have happened long ago for way more legit reasons than asking for a can of beer. and i know what you're thinking. i somewhat have of a reputation for fireworks and all, but i didn't light them there. i lit mine later at the bowling alley. swear.

i reckon they didn't like the cut of your jib.

well, next time you're here, the (nameless) bar about 100 yards from my home still has cans of hamm's for a penny- with any shot. it doesn't have a driftwood diorama, but it's got cans of hamm's for a penny- with any shot.

Little_Jewford said...

Strike 3 would have = an 86 ... we've been thrown out for swearing, being "loud" and once because the tender didn't like the look on on of our female friends face.

And of course its not a canned beer bar...its a classy place...jeeze.

Juancho said...

Canned beer and boxed wine is very swank right now.

Silk Hope said...

Rev I see you are starting off the year in fine fashion. I will break open a PBR (canned) in your honor.

Happy New Year.