...so don't swallow the naughty bits.
This shall serve as a reminder to all y'all intuders that the 5th Annual Running Of The Drunks known as the Sleaze Otter is happening this coming Saturday, April 16th. The weather is a GO! If rumors of course routing are true, this year looks to really shake things up compared to years past...75% dirt options? Road available at all times should you be limited by knowledge or bike choice. And, plus the Full Pink Moon has been graciously coordinated for the following night, so you know it will be a good time.
I'll post the flyer as soon as the degenerates "in charge" send me one...
Don't get caught napping with your pants down and miss this.
As an aside, in the interest of medical science, please note: if you have broken (or possibly just dislocated) several ribs and they begin to feel so much better in such a short amount of time (a week? seriously? they can't be broken) DO NOT POKE AT THEM to "see" about them. Honestly. That's a terrible idea. You will hear and feel a click, and then there will be the return of pain. Trust me.
11 April 2011
09 April 2011
Here's a piece of your heart, cuz I know you got Soul.
Oh, jam.
We got to get over. A fine way to get over before you go under is to Velocache. Pick the right bike for the day and ride from your door.
My ribs are healing well. Give Thanks. Each day the tug and pain eases some. Part of that is committing to muscle memory which movements engage the muscles anchored on the tender bits and working around them, and part is just pure street smarts.
,
GO! GO! GO!GO! Yeah boy.
05 April 2011
you are marvelous
you are marvelous
Hey, know what? If I build your bike...the bolts will all be greased and tight. The wheels will be Round and True.Whether or not it's some- in my opinion- poorly chosen mass produced no Soul having rolling impulse purchase. If I build your kid's bike...the bolts will all be greased and tight. The wheels will be Round and True. The reach will be adjusted for little hands. Price point is no object. The wheels will be as Round and as True as I can make them.
These are things that are important. Doing something Right and Well is Important.
03 April 2011
1. Lord loves a workin man.
2. Don't trust whitey.
3. See a Doctor. Get rid of it.
3 simple rules in the English language. Words to live by, folks.
Night rides? yes. Leaving your lights off to save power? you might be seeing more than you'd like of the peelers. We'd taken the bike path out to the Ord (why?) and so were cornering our way back to the Parker Flats cutoff entrance, when upon making a fast right, we popped out in front of the popo. All lit up from behind, and a fuzzy amplified voice telling us "You 3, pull over NOW."
Oops.
"Why didn't you pull over when I told you the 1st time?"
We had the wind in our ears.
"I'll take that. What are you doing riding with no lights?"
We thought our blinkies were on. We were trying to save the headlights' power. We're turning them on right now. Shuffle and scrape, my sons. Smile and nod. Bow and whimper.
"It's for your safety. What are you doing riding out here?"
Training for a 24 hour event. (ha!)
"That's admirable. Let me see your licenses. Not riding the trails out here are you?"
No!
I won't go into everthing surrounding this, suffice it to say I began sweating for a whole new host of reasons. My backpack full of beer and camping supplies wasn't helping. Neither was that other thing. Or that other other thing. And I didn't have my ID.
He was a block from his HQ, and too eager to end his shift to run the IDs, and we had pulled off seeming sober respectful citizens, so...it went as well as possible.
I am inspired to cast these pearls, so, when dealing with the one time, attempt to control the situation in the following ways...
1. Don't panic.
2. Be respectful. This really should go without saying, but I have been in similar situations in which companions have copped an attitude and/or been surly. This never works. Johnny Law will never let this slide. Shut the hell up and take it, or they will make it worse. Believe me.
3. Steer the encounter in the direction of you needing help, not enforcement... You're injured. You have mechanical problems and need tools or are waiting for a ride home with your broken machine.It's a winning strategy! This switches the scene from administering justice to administering aid; a shift in your favor.
You're welcome.
After all this, what was left was to immediately hop on those trails, pop some tops and drop some hammers. We stowed our packs in the bushes, and rode around real fast. Then I piled up inside a loose corner on downhill 50 and cracked some ribs on my left side.
OMG, this hurts. It is the hurt that keeps on hurting. I never realized how much movement depends on oblique abdominals bracing. You know what they brace off? Ribs.
31 March 2011
Just say "one minute", and I'll be there.
I see that those clowns are at it again.
Rumor has it that this year will be both more and less organized than years past. A dirt course? What are they smoking?
Where do I sign?
Rumor has it that this year will be both more and less organized than years past. A dirt course? What are they smoking?
Where do I sign?
29 March 2011
...wait. Why am I in charge, again?
I am reminded of the sage advice offered up by Mysterious Bill S_____ as he lay, laughing from the diaphragm, upon the cold asphalt of a dirty parking lot:
"It's how you learn."
And while my son J had not been drunkenly attempting to literally stop on a dime with less than perfect success aboard a borrowed bicycle, he had been brazenly attempting to master the art of braking.
J is fine. His fork took a lot of impact...
Long time readers may recall the beginning of the riding to school on a regular basis.
This was proceeding well. Though J had shown some hesitation in coming completely to grips with the new to him 20" wheel (witness the crash into the sapling in Fort Ord months back as he cut the S-turn into an I-turn), he seemed to have a handle on things. Day 1 passed without incident. We talked about how important it is to NEVER crash into traffic, and how the only place to bail (barring a cliff) is over the side. We talked about looking where you want to go, and not at where you do not want to go- on account of you aim for your focus. Day 2, I did need to remind him to keep his feet in a level position to achieve max results from the coaster brake, but he managed just fine.
Day 3 was a different story.
Right away, at the top of the incline, he began picking up more speed than he could handle. Twice, I rolled up next to him and grasped the handle strap of his pack to slow him down. Twice, I reminded him to keep his speed under control.
The third time he began to pick up speed, he was already veering to the right. He was looking for the cut through we take at the bottom of the incline so as to avoid the well trafficked T-intersection. He veered too soon, and entered the drive way, not the cut through. When he saw the tree, he was going to fast to do anything other than crash. He looked at the tree and he rode right into it.
I was right next to him one minute, and the next he was peeling off into a tree.
He hit that tree square with his front wheel. He flew forward, impacted his thigh into the stem and pivoted thereupon to smack into the bark with his helmet. He had no time to get his hands up. Hit so hard it knocked his shoe off. It was like in the old cartoons, when a character busts through a wall and leaves a self-shaped hole with arms and legs akimbo. That was hard to see.
As I dropped my bike and stepped to him, my concern was for potential spinal injury. Though when I reached him, he was already moving to turn over, so I held his upper body still and brought him to my lap. I saw immediately that his helmet had taken the hit and there was no mark on him, but as I registered this, there was a gush of blood from under the brim which flowed pretty steady. Like a head wound will.
I told his brother D(who handled the situation with calm collectedness) to "call Mama and tell her to pick us up". Several passing cars stopped to ask if we needed help. L had only just left for work and took only 3-4 minutes to reach us, else I would have jumped right in that first Samaritan's car.
We had him at the ER within 15 minutes of crashing.
Then it was 4 hours to get him stitched. 16 total (4 sub-dermal, in the muscle belly, and 12 on the surface). It took longer because we insisted a plastic surgeon be called in for the sew-up. The cut is from the skin bursting as the helmet was forced against it, so there was very little that needed to be cleaned out of the wound. Imagine if it had been the tree...
As we wait for a crash replacement fork for his beater, I ride J to school on the back of the Big Dummy. He was hesitant about even this at first. He has been on several off-road rides since then (this happened over a month ago), and is getting back into the swing but his enthusiasm is greatly diminished. I hope he gets it back.
No parent wants to have their child hurt.
I think about what I did wrong: I should have taken more time with him getting comfortable on the bike before heading to school- it seemed like he attached a different and weightier significance to riding to school than to just riding along... I should have maintained a grip on his bag and slowed him completely rather than letting go when he was (to my mind) "under control"- unbeknownst to me at the time, he wasn't applying his brakes at all, he was letting me slow him... I should have let him decide when he was ready to ride to school- it's unfair to push my choices on him, and walking is a perfectly viable option even if it is dullsville.
I think about what I did right: with the help of my fantastic wife, I raised a little badass-that was a hell of a wallop...I stabilised his head-spinal injuries are no joke...I made him wear his helmet, and positioned it correctly-anyone who wants to haggle over helmets' usefulness can suck it while they go look at those helmet pictures again...I made him get back on the bike-though it may not end up his joy in life (as it is mine), allowing him to drop it because he had a set back would be the worst lesson I think he could be taught. Even if all he learns is that his old man is a hardass, he won't learn to be a quitter.
We all fall down. That's Life. The only thing to be done then is to get back up.
"It's how you learn."
And while my son J had not been drunkenly attempting to literally stop on a dime with less than perfect success aboard a borrowed bicycle, he had been brazenly attempting to master the art of braking.
J is fine. His fork took a lot of impact...Long time readers may recall the beginning of the riding to school on a regular basis.
This was proceeding well. Though J had shown some hesitation in coming completely to grips with the new to him 20" wheel (witness the crash into the sapling in Fort Ord months back as he cut the S-turn into an I-turn), he seemed to have a handle on things. Day 1 passed without incident. We talked about how important it is to NEVER crash into traffic, and how the only place to bail (barring a cliff) is over the side. We talked about looking where you want to go, and not at where you do not want to go- on account of you aim for your focus. Day 2, I did need to remind him to keep his feet in a level position to achieve max results from the coaster brake, but he managed just fine.
Day 3 was a different story.
Right away, at the top of the incline, he began picking up more speed than he could handle. Twice, I rolled up next to him and grasped the handle strap of his pack to slow him down. Twice, I reminded him to keep his speed under control.
The third time he began to pick up speed, he was already veering to the right. He was looking for the cut through we take at the bottom of the incline so as to avoid the well trafficked T-intersection. He veered too soon, and entered the drive way, not the cut through. When he saw the tree, he was going to fast to do anything other than crash. He looked at the tree and he rode right into it.
I was right next to him one minute, and the next he was peeling off into a tree.
He hit that tree square with his front wheel. He flew forward, impacted his thigh into the stem and pivoted thereupon to smack into the bark with his helmet. He had no time to get his hands up. Hit so hard it knocked his shoe off. It was like in the old cartoons, when a character busts through a wall and leaves a self-shaped hole with arms and legs akimbo. That was hard to see.
As I dropped my bike and stepped to him, my concern was for potential spinal injury. Though when I reached him, he was already moving to turn over, so I held his upper body still and brought him to my lap. I saw immediately that his helmet had taken the hit and there was no mark on him, but as I registered this, there was a gush of blood from under the brim which flowed pretty steady. Like a head wound will.
I told his brother D(who handled the situation with calm collectedness) to "call Mama and tell her to pick us up". Several passing cars stopped to ask if we needed help. L had only just left for work and took only 3-4 minutes to reach us, else I would have jumped right in that first Samaritan's car.
We had him at the ER within 15 minutes of crashing.
Then it was 4 hours to get him stitched. 16 total (4 sub-dermal, in the muscle belly, and 12 on the surface). It took longer because we insisted a plastic surgeon be called in for the sew-up. The cut is from the skin bursting as the helmet was forced against it, so there was very little that needed to be cleaned out of the wound. Imagine if it had been the tree...
As we wait for a crash replacement fork for his beater, I ride J to school on the back of the Big Dummy. He was hesitant about even this at first. He has been on several off-road rides since then (this happened over a month ago), and is getting back into the swing but his enthusiasm is greatly diminished. I hope he gets it back.
No parent wants to have their child hurt.
I think about what I did wrong: I should have taken more time with him getting comfortable on the bike before heading to school- it seemed like he attached a different and weightier significance to riding to school than to just riding along... I should have maintained a grip on his bag and slowed him completely rather than letting go when he was (to my mind) "under control"- unbeknownst to me at the time, he wasn't applying his brakes at all, he was letting me slow him... I should have let him decide when he was ready to ride to school- it's unfair to push my choices on him, and walking is a perfectly viable option even if it is dullsville.
I think about what I did right: with the help of my fantastic wife, I raised a little badass-that was a hell of a wallop...I stabilised his head-spinal injuries are no joke...I made him wear his helmet, and positioned it correctly-anyone who wants to haggle over helmets' usefulness can suck it while they go look at those helmet pictures again...I made him get back on the bike-though it may not end up his joy in life (as it is mine), allowing him to drop it because he had a set back would be the worst lesson I think he could be taught. Even if all he learns is that his old man is a hardass, he won't learn to be a quitter.
We all fall down. That's Life. The only thing to be done then is to get back up.
Once upon a time called "Right Now"
Apologies for the cover, but there's no versions of Blaze Foley performing this one up on the Youtubes currently, and it's been my soundtrack of late. Skip to 41 seconds to avoid the talky talk:
...ride a bicycle but my ass gets sore. I used to be stupid, but I ain't no more. Might just be stupid to you...
Rain's been falling down relentlessly around here. Happily, this has not been a hindrance to my time atop the bicycle. I been riding till my ass gets sore. Lots of nighttime riding these days, now that I received some hand-me-down lights. Beat old Ni-Cad yellow tint Night Rider, but...it works! For what more could I ask? And, plus, Full Moon action keeps extending for days on either side of the waxing and the waning. It's been primarily fixed, since that's a good beater and who cares if it gets wrecked by weather/conditions? It just keeps quietly running.
Stay off the trails! Please. They are waterlogged but good. I know that mysterious yellow orb in the sky makes you wanna go get some, but really-let the trails drain first. I checked, and the wetlands in the Ord are lakes right now. We'll have water well into summer.
The boys and I been doing some maintenance (ask D about his bee stung ear and neck) for what that's worth (since the Monterey Pines keep dropping) and we believe we have found the new alternative to the demolished but lovingly remembered Stairs. Ask me where if you see me on the trails. You know, after they're dry...
...ride a bicycle but my ass gets sore. I used to be stupid, but I ain't no more. Might just be stupid to you...
Rain's been falling down relentlessly around here. Happily, this has not been a hindrance to my time atop the bicycle. I been riding till my ass gets sore. Lots of nighttime riding these days, now that I received some hand-me-down lights. Beat old Ni-Cad yellow tint Night Rider, but...it works! For what more could I ask? And, plus, Full Moon action keeps extending for days on either side of the waxing and the waning. It's been primarily fixed, since that's a good beater and who cares if it gets wrecked by weather/conditions? It just keeps quietly running.
Stay off the trails! Please. They are waterlogged but good. I know that mysterious yellow orb in the sky makes you wanna go get some, but really-let the trails drain first. I checked, and the wetlands in the Ord are lakes right now. We'll have water well into summer.
The boys and I been doing some maintenance (ask D about his bee stung ear and neck) for what that's worth (since the Monterey Pines keep dropping) and we believe we have found the new alternative to the demolished but lovingly remembered Stairs. Ask me where if you see me on the trails. You know, after they're dry...
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