tradition from purest water

So I'm riding home from work on my newish frankenbike, with my super flashy LED white headlight blinking merrily and my Superflash red tailight alerting everbody. I see the one car coming from my right at their stop (I have no stop, right of way all the way ) waiting to turn left as I'm blasting down Carpenter, and it goes. Fine. Timing is good, I'm rolling...but something in the movement of the 2nd car in line tells me to watch it. Sure enough, as I'm coming up QUICK, this car pulls out in front of me. I lay on the brakes and the bike goes into a skid and I'm yelling "FUCK YOU!" several times as loud as I can (which is loud), and trying not to T-bone this yellow cab (as I see now) and continuing to yell and skid as he pulls through.

I very nearly hit him at ~20mph.

I'm pissed. The next car calls out "Faggit!" as I am making a hasty U turn to "deal with" this cabbie. When that car realizes I am coming back up that hill, and doing it rapidly, they pull into the right lane and bail down HWY1.

That made me laugh, as I was looking forward to "dealing" with them as well.

When I reach the cabbie at the light, his window is down so I do not immediately kick in his side panel (which is what I guess I was planning as an opener). I stop and say "What the fuck, man? I almost smashed into the side of your cab." He says "I apologize [like magic I no longer wanted to beat him] I wasn't even tripping on the blinking light- the bike light- I was thinking about cars' lights. My bad. I'm sorry, I should've paid attention." I say "Thanks, man." I ride home with no more issues.

It occurs to me now that what he said really makes no sense; if I had been a car I would certainly have hit him. But it really did drain away my angry fightin' mood to hear the very first thing he said be an apology.

I would still like to "discuss" the lame insult with the jackasses in the black Mercedes, though.

I have discovered the great Ray that first brought Life into the world...

What hath man wrought?






I made it with my own hands- from the bodies I took from the graves, from the gallows, from anywhere!



I know I'ma want some suspension in Durango, so this is my first test of the Abbynormal Karate Monkey. Off to the shop for a front brake cable and housing. Should be fun cruising down the hill with just a rear. More later, hopefully.

give it up and get with that

This ride is just a test. If it had been a real ride, the drivetrain would be in perfect working order. In the event of running a blownoutShimano (and really, is there any other kind?) 10speed chain, you would be directed to steer your bicycle into the weeds and begin replacing the POSShimano (and really, is there any other kind?) chain's rivet with a 9speed SRAM masterlink you'd carried for just such an eventuality...







If this were an actual ride, you would then be well served by leaving the roads and piloting your bicycle into the woods. Drinking a beer would help you to appreciate the lovely new hue, and how it blends in so nicely with the trail side.





On a test ride, the fact that your 110mm BB gave a funky chainline coupled with a used and whupped 175mm XTR drive side crank (48/38) tied to an even whuppeder LX nondrive crank, would cause you to head down to the only local shop worth frequenting and slap on a new 105 (them chains are ridiculously priced, so low end it is) 10speed chain with a KMC masterlink. Sugino XD cranks sounding better and better.


Well. Even if you did, the ride would still be plagued by the poor chainline and the somewhat beat-on10speed cassette. You'd be attempting to stay 10speed on account of that's the shifters you got, and new shifters is essssssssspensive...but you'd know that if push came to shove, you could just run some 9speed bar-end shifters and still be happy to be riding. You would clearly see that 109ish is the narrowest you can go with the size rings you'd like to use, and you'd start pondering on getting a Phil Wood BB-with it's high class lustre, super rolly and durable bearings, and adjustable (up to 5mm!) chainline. All this because of the fat, fat clearance chainstays.




If it were real, a real experience in the actual world, you'd feel so good on the new bike you'd finally take a picture of this place on the climb up Veteran's. It's a nice place. Well situated.


You'd take notice of the fact that Veteran's Hall is now open for parties...





An honest to goodness ride would entail marveling at the nimble feeling accelerations. The short and sweet chain stays would be so intuitively correctable; with the smallest of nudges you'd be on the perfect line. It would be great. The fit? Feels good. Your hair? Perfect.

Too bad this was only a test.

see hear

Black Cat put up photos of the new (and languishing) cross frame.

stand in for your life

illustration by Tom Schamp


I have taken the front mudflap off my townie. It will never again darken my ride. It was fine on the road, but. Any time the tyre got knobbly because the going got gravelly, the mudflap wedged itself between the fender and the front tire. This was not threatening since the flap (made by my daughter) was soft leather with a heart branded on it, not hard rubber or plastic. The wedging did not result in crashes (though others have crashed due to mudflap wedgies), just having to stop and unwedge.

So. I do not recommendo the front mudflap for anything but the streetest of bikes.

In other unsatisfactory bicycle equipment news: my cross bike is proving to be a bitch to get together. I had planned on using parts I already own for the build. To this end, 2 bikes have donated parts. I stripped the threads on the non-drive square taper XTR crank (from the fixed wheel Crosscheck). I do not have the right length BB. 3 cross bikes are partially assembled and unrideable in my bike pile at this moment.

The new frame is pretty though.

Full Corn Moon

Tonight will be bright and warm. Don't kid yourself: out of the 12 (yes, just and only 12) opportunities to ride your bicycle of choice under the noonbright light of a full moon this is one of the warmest and mildest. Take action!



8:30pm. Corner of Parker Flats Cutoff and whatever that other road is called. You know where. Ride bikes: cruisable dirt sections, with pave connectors.

everbody's got to gravitate to something

An unidentified smallish bug flew straight down my throat on the climb home. Not 10 minutes later, on the descent a wasp hit my neck, dropped down my shirt front and stung me on the right nipple. That was 4 hours ago.


My nipple still hurts.

*EDIT: Next morning? Still hurts like some small electric charge. I know some of y'all are into this kind of thing, but honestly I can't get behind it.

**FURTHER EDIT: