we be like some Mr. Independence, takin' our own sweet time

Now that I've quit everthang disgusting, and am subsequently on a higher plane of existence than you, I return to offer Perfect Solutions to everyday problems that lesser folk have. No, no- think nothing of it.Oh, and for all of our sakes, don't start a religion over it and insist that this way is the only way and everyone has to follow it or else. Because that would just wreck the wisdom.


Step 1: strap your crosscut saw to your bicycle.

Step 2: head on over to the corner store and pick up a couple tall boys to take over to the bike tunnel and sip whilst you enjoy the graffitti and bullshit and party and bullshit and party and bullshit.

Step C: take your show on the trail, up to that one (surprisingly lengthy) downed tree- the one that fell with it's length along the singletrack.

Step 4: be smart and (who's kidding who? we know you consider it) do not get into the whiskey prior to handling and operating a 2 person saw.

                (hatchet with homemade guard, tall can, just-picked porcinis)


Step 5: saw that shit! This step has several sub-steps to it, which consist in part of: clearing the surrounding brush/debris, removing the bark so as to save your saw's teeth, placing bark skids below the log to spare your saw's teeth, beginning the cut, cutting, taking a break to drink a beer, inserting a wedge (to keep the cut ends from closing up on the saw), and finishing the cut.

Step 6: manhandle the loglets off the trail.

Step 7: show up where they keep the whiskey- beneath some bark slabs leaning against that one mighty oak.

Step 8: ride some trails.

Step 9: repeat as needed.

There you go.