Next Full Moon

Sunday, May 3rd Full Flower Moon

09 December 2010

letters to the editor

This in today's Monterey Herald...

Gays began on slow, cloistered naval ships

I have studied the phenomenon of male homosexuality for many years, and have come to the conclusion that it originated from males being in close contact with other males in military operations during long periods of duty at sea.

The British navy, during Captain Hornblower's days, was probably the originator, though the Greeks were undoubtedly not far behind. After three months at sea, hair growth obscures male identity, and emanating nefarious body perfume lures other males, as pollen attracts bumblebees in their quest for life-giving fluids.

There is a difference, as a result of this evolutionary change between the Air Force and the Navy. Air Force flights are quick as lightning. One cannot forget the blaze left behind — and pilots hurry home to savor and rekindle remembrances. The Navy lumbers at 15 knots, rolling somnambulantly on, into the future, forgetting the past and being enticed, progressively, into improbable and difficult-to-explain situations.

This is one of the prevailing facts of life, not normally taken into account by sociologists. At least this is my limited and, perhaps, rudimentary, understanding.

Bob Fett (USAF-ret.)

Awesome. It's worthy of the Carmel Pinecone.


Lord Hayden said...

I can't believe that of all of the places in the universe, Boba Fett decided to retire in Carmel.

grommet said...

Boba Fett is gay?

reverend dick said...

It is indeed an improbable and difficult-to-explain situation.

li'l hateful said...

So if I believe Boba Fett (and, Lord knows, I respect him as a bounty hunter) it's the lumbering and closeness that makes you gay. As long as you're moving really, really fast you'll stay straight.

Clearly he has never been to a disco.

Lord Hayden said...

I don't remember Ewok Village being very close-quartered or confined, yet those dudes seemed pretty "happy".