Next Full Moon

Sunday, May 3rd Full Flower Moon

26 February 2014

a notorious creampuff

Here are some things:


Your "religion" is actually a Cargo Cult. Stings, don't it. If it makes you feel any better, you can send me your $15 and I'll tell you what to think and believe, take some of the pressure off. Same diff, only I will be a benevolent despot. I promise.

So...a big (BIG!) upcoming bikecamping expedition has me examining all of my gear selection. What you know about this?

Aw yeah. That fairing sock? in a flesh tone? with a integrated 6pack cooler? and some short shorts? You know, to get the mostest out of the aero-legs. It could be the next big thing.

Could be. Now, I'll hand you a list: Aptos Creek fireroad, Buzzard Lagoon, Highland Way, Summit Rd, Morill Rd, Wright's Station Rd, some stuff I can't categorize, Aldercroft Heights Rd, Old Santa Cruz Highway, Mtn Charlie Rd (in with a whisper), Glenwood Dr, Granite Creek Rd, Branciforte Dr, Mountain View Rd, Laurel Glen Rd, Soquel San Jose Rd, Olive Springs Rd, Aptos Creek fireroad.

Cross bikes. I sit here with recovery legs. It got so tough up Olive Springs with the cramping. I'd shift around on my saddle, trying to maneuver my pelvis into different alignments so as to spread the over-work over a wider range, which sort-of worked; the cramps would lessen, and then shift themselves over to a different group of muscles. No lie, I could walk my cramps around. Ridiculous. It got to the point where I was only actively engaging muscles to kick away from myself as everything else musclewise was roached. Then I had to get off and walk up the darkening fireroad. Horrible and glorious. I blame myself, since it is revealed that my hot button is being called "soft". Seriously, it's like taunting a caged animal

my response is Pavlovian. I first declined to add the heinously steep Olive Springs to the end of the ride, was accused of "getting soft", and before I knew what had happened I'd agreed to the extra like a reflex bypassing my brain. Dumb.

I have some work to do to be ready for the stern mileage headed our way. And since I'm heading in a new fashion direction for this outing, I have some outfits to plan. If you see any discount gold rope chains, let me know. I'm a get my shit together, boy.


blackcatbicycles said...

if you wear the tight pants and do the spinning leg dance, your reward of otherworldly commercial goods will be bestowed upon you and you will not remain soft, rock hard trooper.
you just have to make the fairing out of straw and coconuts. it'll work. i promise.

olive springs ain't no joke. it wrings the softness right out.

reverend dick said...

Olive Springs allowed me a come to John Frum moment.

blackcatbicycles said...


that dude's leg fairings are made out of armor-all and antifreeze jugs! he didn't even peel off the fuggin' labels!

who's he trying to fool? there is no way -NO WAY- that having an antifreeze jug rattling around your ankle is gonna be faster than not. i don't care what the wind situation is.

sorry, rev, this calls into question any advantage of that whole half baked (soft boiled? hey-o!) egg thing. sure, it'll keep the open container you're workin' on out of sight from johnny law, but any more practicality than that is hogwash. i'll give you that flesh toned lycra eggs are hot this year, but unless it's on suspenders (think fruit of the loom guys), there's absolutely no measurable utility.

callin' bullshit!